The difference between cheap and frugal lies in priorities. Someone that is cheap enjoys spending as little as possible. They prioritize cost reduction in all expenses, in every area of their life.
Someone that is frugal reduces expenses selectively. They prioritize specific experiences or things that deliver value and are okay with spending more in those areas. Those that are frugal do focus on reducing or eliminating expenses associated with things that aren’t a priority.
I've shared three ways I live frugally - but there's another side to that, as I don't view myself as cheap. In this post, I’ll share six areas where I splurge. This topic is important because many personal finance enthusiasts inadvertently create a culture of shame, judgment, and embarrassment around spending more than the minimum on any item. I’ve fallen into that trap myself; it isn’t motivating to others. We all have different values; part of becoming financially free is aligning your spending with your unique goals. For many of us, that doesn’t include deprive ourselves of all of life’s luxuries.
Shoes. I have a weakness for fabulous shoes, which are often (but not always) expensive. I prefer shoes to either clothes or handbags and get an irrational frisson of happiness when I’m wearing a pair that I love. As I write this, I'm wearing a pair of studded Marc Jacobs mouse flats. These little rodents make my day. The right pair of shoes bolsters my confidence, lifts my mood, and takes my primarily monochromatic wardrobe to the next level.
When my grandmother passed away, she had accumulated over 100 pairs of shoes. Clearly, I inherited her passion for footwear. My shoe collection includes inexpensive, unique heels that I snapped up at no-name shops alongside fabulous Manolos, Louboutins, and Choos. It’s a Carrie Bradshaw cliché - a woman who loves shoes. But I do!
Wine. In the past several years, I’ve become an amateur wine enthusiast. My splurge on wine doesn’t include endless cases of Chateau Mouton Rothschild, but I do have a 200-bottle wine fridge that I keep stocked with delicious discoveries. Wine allows me to explore the world with each bottle and I get quite a lot of enjoyment from the different tastes, characteristics, and regions represented in my collection.
I use CellarTracker to keep track of my wine; what I’ve bought, tasted, or have on my wish list. It also keeps track of how much I spend on the bottles I log. I could save more money if I drank less wine, visited fewer wineries, or switched completely to Bota Box (which I enjoy and often have in my pantry, it's a great price-to-value.)
Benjamin Franklin was quoted as saying, “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” I couldn’t agree more.
Sunscreen. My daily sunscreen is an indulgent beauty splurge. While I buy drugstore brand makeup, the Kiehl’s sunscreen I prefer is over $20 an ounce. It protects my skin and feels amazing. Similarly, I splurge on two other skincare items, my nightly moisturizer from Dermalogica and a lovely Origins moisturizer ironically called Starting Over. These products might have less expensive alternatives, but I haven’t yet identified them.
I had terrible skin in my late teens and used to spend a ridiculous amount on high-end skin care and makeup in my early 20s. Once I figured out the right way to protect and manage my skin, I happily continued to buy the pricier items made a difference in my complexion.
Travel. Exploring is something I value tremendously and will always budget for. I aim to spend more on traveling as I age; my current retirement budget includes a line item that is three times what we spend today.
My partner and I both enjoy a wide range of travel experiences; we have as much fun climbing a mountain in the Pacific Northwest or camping in West Virginia’s gorgeous Monongahela National Forest as we do on a luxurious Parisian getaway. Even in lean times, I’ve been fortunate to continue to invest in travel experiences that both broaden my perspective and recharge my batteries.
Home. This is my biggest splurge; Mr. Financier and I live in a home that is quite generously sized for two people. I’ve shared the ridiculous terms of my first mortgage and I’ve occasionally considered selling, downsizing, and investing the balance.
However, my partner and I have created a home that provides us with plenty of space to enjoy a variety of different experiences without leaving our property. We have a library where I can curl up and read, a theater room to enjoy our favorite movies, a dining room that we use regularly, a basement bar to serve wine and mixed drinks, and an outdoor space that allows us to explore nature.
We’re lucky to have these experiences at our fingertips and while a tinier space in a lower-cost location would make financial sense, I’m quite certain we wouldn’t be as happy. Mr. Financier and I enjoy socializing, but both of us are introverts, so having a space that is truly ours to retreat to is our biggest luxury.
Giving. This is an area I aim to increase over time. Ever since I started working, I’ve been contributing regular, automatic donations to a few of my favorite nonprofits. With each raise or bonus I earn, I always set aside a portion for these groups. Many that I support are related to nature and conservation, as well as supporting and enabling women. One of the most exciting things about increasing my household income has been the ability to donate even more meaningful sums to the causes I care about.
My giving strategy is to engage more deeply with fewer causes; this can be difficult because there are so many amazing groups doing powerful work. However, I enjoy getting to know the leaders of the nonprofits I support, understand their short- and long-term objectives, and connect them to valuable resources. I aim to spend even more time (and money) with these organizations once I reach financial freedom.
Those are six expenses I’ll never cut back on, which means I need to work longer and grow my income consistently in order to fund them. I’m curious to hear if there are expenses that you’ll never cut back on? What are the things you happily spend more than the bare minimum on?
xoxo, Ms. Financier